Still blogging on !!!

Hi fellow bloggers ...... you must be wondering if my blog has died or whether I am still alive !!! Well no to the first and yes to the former. I haven't worked out how to get a holiday snap on the blog but I promise it will follow.

I have had a fantastic holiday on Queensland ..... it was the best family holiday I've ever been on . Not only did I survive 2 weeks on the Gold Coast with an unlimited theme park pass, 2 children and hours of the Simpsons, Futurama and Neighbours and NO BABY sitters I actually loved almost every minute and had a first ever "no fight" holiday. Greg and I got on really well and the kids had a ball..... I was aided and assisted by Greg taking Danny off for extra curriculum theme park visits leaving me and Bridget to play more games of 500 (because the four hours all ready per day was not enough for Bridget the kitty hog ... and yes if you know 500 you would know that she got that disease from ME the number one kitty hog of all time) and the name game and her new one .... lets play being journalists and making up news stories or writing essays.

I took my Peter Temple (fantastic Australian crime writer ... just won the best international crime novel award for 2007) books every where I went and even managed to go on ONE scary theme park ride ... much to every one's amazement. All I can say about the dreadful Pirate Ship is that my suffering was brief but very intense ........ and confirmed my life long belief that I do not enjoy or tolerate any motion apart from driving a car. I was very glad to get off and feel very glad that some times you do make the right decision about life time habits!!!I'm not just a scaredy cat!!!

To be honest I did have a few in the middle of the night scary thoughts about what was going to happen to me and how long I would be around to not go on scary rides etc . but I think that's pretty normal . Despite all my attempts to be positive and take each day as it comes, and live in the present moment, and realise I have no control over the future and to focus on love, kindness and forgiveness and cancel negative thoughts etc etc etc..... I still am only human and have no answers.

Welcome to the human race. I know I am not alone.

I will always look back on that time away with a great feeling and thank my Mercy friends for their kindness and love in sending us off in such great style!!!

Since being back I have seen my doctor the lovely Peter Grant and he was very kind and spent a lot of time with me and Greg answering my rambling, repetitive questions and I felt like he had all the time in the world and I was his only patient in the world ..... He was very encouraging and we both walked out feeling very lucky and relieved. I may have a little hot spot on my hip which may need some radiation but Greg and I are going mattress shopping today just to make sure its not a joint problem So keep your fingers crossed.

I learnt a long time ago from a long time survivor of ovarian cancer that the secret is "to keep on keeping on" and I'm starting to understand what she meant.

In the meantime I have found a delightful little Austrian psychiatrist who spends hours and hours with me and bulk bills!!! and we are working on spontaneous healing (the mind can make you sick the mind can make you well.....) Apart from any thing else he is a really nice, intelligent man and I enjoy listening to his words of wisdom and wealth of knowledge. Greg and I have also been listening and reading Eckart Tolle (The Power of Now) which has been great. Aided and abetted by a good bloood thirsty crime novel ... also very therapeutic.

Any way thanks for all your love and support ... I am off to my friend Leanne's beach house for the second week of the school holidays (thanks Leanne!!!) and I am looking forward to more walks on the beach and the sound of kids laughing as they play chasey and hidey and putting my feet up with a good book and a couple of good friends (thanks Jenny and Anna!!)

Life is good.

Love
Pauline
xxx