Hi everyone,
Do I sound excited??? I never look forward to chemo but in this case I feel like I want to "bring it on" now!!! I am so looking forward to getting healthy again and being able to get back to doing all the things I enjoy without the continued grind of fronting up for those heavy duty drugs and all the related anxiety about reactions and side effects and IV lines etc.
I have been enjoying myself this last fortnight and basking in the glow of almost being finished. I have demolished a few good blood curdling crime novels. Nothing like an escaped psychopath to keep my mind off the nausea (The Sleeping Doll by Jeoffrey Drever in case your interested).
I am always in a good mood when the Saints are winning (they slumped when I was sick and are now coming into good form like myself!!) I fell asleep listening to the game last Saturday and thought that we had lost by 4 points. I felt quite deflated and kept trying to get an update throughout the night ..... to no avail. I was very pleased to hear in the morning that it was a bad dream and we had won by 17 points!) All that wasted angst for nought.
My lovely neighbour Anna, and fellow dog walker, introduced me to a very secret path in the Darebin Parklands that leads to a lovely sheltered natural rocky area next to the creek and is a real sun trap on these winter days. It was meant to be on the proviso that I did not tell a soul. Sorry Anna! No body goes down there and you feel like you are all alone out in the bush with lots of sun and birds and the water and best of all no snakes because it winter. I took Danny and Bridget down there yesterday on their Curriculum free day and they loved it ... Danny was having a little Tom Sawyer moment by the rushing creek (we are reading the Adventures of Tom Sawyer at the moment and he's right into it !!! I think it makes him feel less naughty and rather superior as naughty Tom and Huck creep out of houses at midnight, go to cemeteries with dead cats and pull hair in church etc etc!!)
I also received a fabulous "present" from the Mercy 8 (Julie C. Julie T. Katrina, Jan, Chris, Catherine, Denise and Lisa ) who have given me and the family a 2 week holiday on Queensland, return air fare and enough cash to splash to ensure every theme park and restaurant on the Gold Coast is well frequented. I was the guest of honor at a wonderful dinner and heard all about their Movie night and Camber well market stall. Whilst they made it sound like they had a ball I know it was an enormous amount of work. So thank you once again. Mercy people are very special ( that includes ex Mercy!!)
We are going to have a ball and I have a picture of the beach that I look at in the kitchen when I'm cooking. They gave me a shoe box full of money and Danny's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he opened it. Needless to say the money was solemnly "counted" about a hundred times by Danny and I am pleased to say he resisted the urge to pinch a little along the way (see I told you he was better than Tom and Huck!!) He was very disappointed when I took it to the bank for safe keeping.
I have to go now and check if Miss Bridget is in bed. She was last seen "straightening " her hair by the heater in the bathroom because it was crinkly after being in plaits!! She thinks I am very mean because I wouldn't let her watch Neighbours tonight. We have a TV free policy on school nights. Then on Monday Bridget smiled beautifully and said "Excuse me mum do you think I could possibly watch Neighbours just this once please because there is going to be a wedding tonight ... " How could I resist? Then the next night. "Excuse me mum after the wedding there was a terrible car crash on the way home and we find out tonight if they are alive or dead..... and so it goes on and on and on!!I can remember HATING my mum for brief periods when she didn't let me watch whatever show I was addicted to at the time. The injustice of it all.
When I speak to you next time I will be in my next phase ..... living each day and remembering how lucky I am to be alive to enjoy it .
I thank all of you for your support and love during this time ... I have felt very connected and that has made it much easier to get through. My world is full of very kind people and I am very lucky.
Regards
Pauline
Thursday, 26 July 2007
Friday, 20 July 2007
Monday, 16 July 2007
Home post in sight!!
Hi everyone,
In two weeks I will be chemo free ....as in no more chemo. Only two to go. Do I sound excited???? I am.
In some ways it has been much easier once I got onto the miracle drugs that stopped me vomiting .....but in other ways it has been harder because of the amount of chemo (double the doses).
Oh well it certainly has made me very appreciative of those wonderful things called the senses and how chemo affects them such as taste buds and oversensitivity to smell!! Soon I will be able to get back to good old fashioned healthy living and say goodbye to lollies, fat and salt. In some ways I will miss them!! Is there anything better than hot chips and licorice.????You don't have to answer that question!!
We are really looking forward to our holiday in Queensland in September. The kids are already talking about planes and how much school they will miss. This was the first school holidays when I think they would have been happy to have more time off. We broke up the last week with 2 nights in Castlemaine which was wonderful. Steam train ride to Maldon, walking around town and the Botanical gardens, plenty of old churches, a couple of counter teas at the pub and on the way back we climbed Hanging Rock (my legs are aching today .... so much for keeping fit. I feel like an old crocodile!!). Danny was like a little billy goat climbing up the rock and Bridget asked a thousand questions about the missing girls and what happened to them. She definately needs to read the book.
Our great friends Rosealie and Cathy stayed on Saturday night and as they are having no luck with Melbourne house prices were intrigued and seduced by the beautiful Castlemaine houses and prices. I told them they were only allowed to move if they have a granny flat for me out the back.
Greg and I imposed a computer and TV free weekend and the kids despite grave concerns actually had a ball and played Chess and hide and seek and lots of ball games ......I'm tempted to make it a permanent ban but I'm reasonably sure there would be a total mutiny.
Anyway I hope you are all well. I am catching up with my Mercy pals for dinner this week so am looking forward to that.
Bye for now.
Love
Pauline
In two weeks I will be chemo free ....as in no more chemo. Only two to go. Do I sound excited???? I am.
In some ways it has been much easier once I got onto the miracle drugs that stopped me vomiting .....but in other ways it has been harder because of the amount of chemo (double the doses).
Oh well it certainly has made me very appreciative of those wonderful things called the senses and how chemo affects them such as taste buds and oversensitivity to smell!! Soon I will be able to get back to good old fashioned healthy living and say goodbye to lollies, fat and salt. In some ways I will miss them!! Is there anything better than hot chips and licorice.????You don't have to answer that question!!
We are really looking forward to our holiday in Queensland in September. The kids are already talking about planes and how much school they will miss. This was the first school holidays when I think they would have been happy to have more time off. We broke up the last week with 2 nights in Castlemaine which was wonderful. Steam train ride to Maldon, walking around town and the Botanical gardens, plenty of old churches, a couple of counter teas at the pub and on the way back we climbed Hanging Rock (my legs are aching today .... so much for keeping fit. I feel like an old crocodile!!). Danny was like a little billy goat climbing up the rock and Bridget asked a thousand questions about the missing girls and what happened to them. She definately needs to read the book.
Our great friends Rosealie and Cathy stayed on Saturday night and as they are having no luck with Melbourne house prices were intrigued and seduced by the beautiful Castlemaine houses and prices. I told them they were only allowed to move if they have a granny flat for me out the back.
Greg and I imposed a computer and TV free weekend and the kids despite grave concerns actually had a ball and played Chess and hide and seek and lots of ball games ......I'm tempted to make it a permanent ban but I'm reasonably sure there would be a total mutiny.
Anyway I hope you are all well. I am catching up with my Mercy pals for dinner this week so am looking forward to that.
Bye for now.
Love
Pauline
Thursday, 5 July 2007
Hanging in ... holding up!!!
Hi everyone,
You can tell when I don't blog much that things are tough!!! I am so close to finishing chemo but feel like its soooooooo far away .... which is pretty silly but my poor old body has just about had enough. Not to mention my sensitive mind!!!
It was like this the first time as well. I had to psych myself up so much to get through the chemo that by the time it was nearly over I was mentally "over it". Oh well in 3 weeks I will be finished and ready to prepare for the next stage of living with cancer (whatever that means). One thing for certain is we will all be packing our bags for Queensland to have a lovely holiday courtesy of my generous Mercy and ex Mercy colleagues.
Then I'm going to think about doing the following:
Make a bird bath
Paint all the front bedrooms
Buy a loft bed for Danny and move him into Bridget's room
Move Bridget into Danny's old room
Write a best selling play
Write my memoirs
Book in for a week at the Gawler Foundation
Eat really healthy food and take lots of supplements especially fish oil
Swimming lessons?.......
Meditate every day again
Make lots of salads
Try not to poison the kids and don't give up when they say "we hate this food!!"
that's my list for now ...... not much focus on paid work!! Maybe my paid work days are over. What do you think???
Any other ideas always welcome.
On the home front every one is well. School holidays are fun and its nice just hanging out. Danny and Bridget are going on a country train trip with their friends and Auntie Rosie and her daughter Jessie tomorrow (Happy Birthday Jessie) . We have made a surprise birthday cake and I can safely predict that it will be well and truly eaten by the time they pull out of Spencer Street. There was much competition and general all out "brawling" over bowl and beater licking rights and icing arrangements. The awful thing is I can remember be just as bad if not worse!(Saint Rose of Moonee Ponds wasn't always exactly "nice" in fact she was very mean to me!!!)
Danny is going pretty well although he struggles with his relationship with his big sister who he adores and of course she "suffers" his devotion with disdain. He was just begging her for a kiss a little while ago and she was absolutely refusing as usual. Meanwhile his poor old mum has to practically beg for a cuddle because he is too busy!! We have restricted the use of the computer these holidays and they have both been withdrawing big time and trying to stretch their one hour out through all kinds of devious methods!! What ever happened to "go outside and play?".
Bridget has just had a fringe cut .... which is big news and looks way too gorgeous!!! Her face is so pretty. I was very disturbed to hear that "some " of the grade 6 kids were dating this year . So I hope the boys stay away from Bridget. Luckily she thinks boys (including Danny) are gross!!!
Greg is battling on and is also looking forward to a holiday in the sun. I'm sure he gets very weary and worries about the future ...... but luckily he keeps a smile pretty close to the surface and is fantastic with the kids. The improved Bomber form has been well and truly appreciated and I am as always outnumbered by Bomber maniacs. Danny insists on viewing the ladder at every opportunity and is quite unhappy if I haven't bought the Age every day to consult the Bomber ladder. He doesn't accept that the position won't change after Monday.
Well I had better go and get these kids into bed. Bridget and I watched "Dial M for Murder" today (I love Alfred Hitchcock and so does Bridget now that I have introduced her to the master. Rear Window is my favorite movie) and she is just settling back to watch "How to marry a millionaire" with Marilyn Munroe!!! Danny still has the attention span of a two year old but he was very impressed with the Choir of Hard Knocks!!!
Love to you all. Chemo tomorrow then one week off then 2 weeks on then FINITO!!!!
Pauline
xxxxx
You can tell when I don't blog much that things are tough!!! I am so close to finishing chemo but feel like its soooooooo far away .... which is pretty silly but my poor old body has just about had enough. Not to mention my sensitive mind!!!
It was like this the first time as well. I had to psych myself up so much to get through the chemo that by the time it was nearly over I was mentally "over it". Oh well in 3 weeks I will be finished and ready to prepare for the next stage of living with cancer (whatever that means). One thing for certain is we will all be packing our bags for Queensland to have a lovely holiday courtesy of my generous Mercy and ex Mercy colleagues.
Then I'm going to think about doing the following:
Make a bird bath
Paint all the front bedrooms
Buy a loft bed for Danny and move him into Bridget's room
Move Bridget into Danny's old room
Write a best selling play
Write my memoirs
Book in for a week at the Gawler Foundation
Eat really healthy food and take lots of supplements especially fish oil
Swimming lessons?.......
Meditate every day again
Make lots of salads
Try not to poison the kids and don't give up when they say "we hate this food!!"
that's my list for now ...... not much focus on paid work!! Maybe my paid work days are over. What do you think???
Any other ideas always welcome.
On the home front every one is well. School holidays are fun and its nice just hanging out. Danny and Bridget are going on a country train trip with their friends and Auntie Rosie and her daughter Jessie tomorrow (Happy Birthday Jessie) . We have made a surprise birthday cake and I can safely predict that it will be well and truly eaten by the time they pull out of Spencer Street. There was much competition and general all out "brawling" over bowl and beater licking rights and icing arrangements. The awful thing is I can remember be just as bad if not worse!(Saint Rose of Moonee Ponds wasn't always exactly "nice" in fact she was very mean to me!!!)
Danny is going pretty well although he struggles with his relationship with his big sister who he adores and of course she "suffers" his devotion with disdain. He was just begging her for a kiss a little while ago and she was absolutely refusing as usual. Meanwhile his poor old mum has to practically beg for a cuddle because he is too busy!! We have restricted the use of the computer these holidays and they have both been withdrawing big time and trying to stretch their one hour out through all kinds of devious methods!! What ever happened to "go outside and play?".
Bridget has just had a fringe cut .... which is big news and looks way too gorgeous!!! Her face is so pretty. I was very disturbed to hear that "some " of the grade 6 kids were dating this year . So I hope the boys stay away from Bridget. Luckily she thinks boys (including Danny) are gross!!!
Greg is battling on and is also looking forward to a holiday in the sun. I'm sure he gets very weary and worries about the future ...... but luckily he keeps a smile pretty close to the surface and is fantastic with the kids. The improved Bomber form has been well and truly appreciated and I am as always outnumbered by Bomber maniacs. Danny insists on viewing the ladder at every opportunity and is quite unhappy if I haven't bought the Age every day to consult the Bomber ladder. He doesn't accept that the position won't change after Monday.
Well I had better go and get these kids into bed. Bridget and I watched "Dial M for Murder" today (I love Alfred Hitchcock and so does Bridget now that I have introduced her to the master. Rear Window is my favorite movie) and she is just settling back to watch "How to marry a millionaire" with Marilyn Munroe!!! Danny still has the attention span of a two year old but he was very impressed with the Choir of Hard Knocks!!!
Love to you all. Chemo tomorrow then one week off then 2 weeks on then FINITO!!!!
Pauline
xxxxx
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