Hello all my blogger friends,
After much consideration I have decided that I will probably not make any more entries for awhile .... mainly because I don't really have much to say. Life is going on well .... the kids are great, I'm feeling pretty well, Greg is coping well and I feel like its just a bit boring for you to hear that everything is going well.....
Its a bit like when you see all the relatives at a funeral or a wedding and you say "we must catch up more often" and everyone knows it won't be until the next wedding or funeral. However I would love to catch up individually with anyone that wants to keep in touch by email ..... scott.pauline@optusnet.com.au
I hope that I will hear form you all and I do thank you so much for your entries that have cheered me up so much and lifted my spirits when I most needed them.
No doubt at some stage the blog will return but until then send me an email ......
Love
Pauline
xxxxx
Sunday, 21 October 2007
Friday, 21 September 2007
Still blogging on !!!
Hi fellow bloggers ...... you must be wondering if my blog has died or whether I am still alive !!! Well no to the first and yes to the former. I haven't worked out how to get a holiday snap on the blog but I promise it will follow.
I have had a fantastic holiday on Queensland ..... it was the best family holiday I've ever been on . Not only did I survive 2 weeks on the Gold Coast with an unlimited theme park pass, 2 children and hours of the Simpsons, Futurama and Neighbours and NO BABY sitters I actually loved almost every minute and had a first ever "no fight" holiday. Greg and I got on really well and the kids had a ball..... I was aided and assisted by Greg taking Danny off for extra curriculum theme park visits leaving me and Bridget to play more games of 500 (because the four hours all ready per day was not enough for Bridget the kitty hog ... and yes if you know 500 you would know that she got that disease from ME the number one kitty hog of all time) and the name game and her new one .... lets play being journalists and making up news stories or writing essays.
I took my Peter Temple (fantastic Australian crime writer ... just won the best international crime novel award for 2007) books every where I went and even managed to go on ONE scary theme park ride ... much to every one's amazement. All I can say about the dreadful Pirate Ship is that my suffering was brief but very intense ........ and confirmed my life long belief that I do not enjoy or tolerate any motion apart from driving a car. I was very glad to get off and feel very glad that some times you do make the right decision about life time habits!!!I'm not just a scaredy cat!!!
To be honest I did have a few in the middle of the night scary thoughts about what was going to happen to me and how long I would be around to not go on scary rides etc . but I think that's pretty normal . Despite all my attempts to be positive and take each day as it comes, and live in the present moment, and realise I have no control over the future and to focus on love, kindness and forgiveness and cancel negative thoughts etc etc etc..... I still am only human and have no answers.
Welcome to the human race. I know I am not alone.
I will always look back on that time away with a great feeling and thank my Mercy friends for their kindness and love in sending us off in such great style!!!
Since being back I have seen my doctor the lovely Peter Grant and he was very kind and spent a lot of time with me and Greg answering my rambling, repetitive questions and I felt like he had all the time in the world and I was his only patient in the world ..... He was very encouraging and we both walked out feeling very lucky and relieved. I may have a little hot spot on my hip which may need some radiation but Greg and I are going mattress shopping today just to make sure its not a joint problem So keep your fingers crossed.
I learnt a long time ago from a long time survivor of ovarian cancer that the secret is "to keep on keeping on" and I'm starting to understand what she meant.
In the meantime I have found a delightful little Austrian psychiatrist who spends hours and hours with me and bulk bills!!! and we are working on spontaneous healing (the mind can make you sick the mind can make you well.....) Apart from any thing else he is a really nice, intelligent man and I enjoy listening to his words of wisdom and wealth of knowledge. Greg and I have also been listening and reading Eckart Tolle (The Power of Now) which has been great. Aided and abetted by a good bloood thirsty crime novel ... also very therapeutic.
Any way thanks for all your love and support ... I am off to my friend Leanne's beach house for the second week of the school holidays (thanks Leanne!!!) and I am looking forward to more walks on the beach and the sound of kids laughing as they play chasey and hidey and putting my feet up with a good book and a couple of good friends (thanks Jenny and Anna!!)
Life is good.
Love
Pauline
xxx
I have had a fantastic holiday on Queensland ..... it was the best family holiday I've ever been on . Not only did I survive 2 weeks on the Gold Coast with an unlimited theme park pass, 2 children and hours of the Simpsons, Futurama and Neighbours and NO BABY sitters I actually loved almost every minute and had a first ever "no fight" holiday. Greg and I got on really well and the kids had a ball..... I was aided and assisted by Greg taking Danny off for extra curriculum theme park visits leaving me and Bridget to play more games of 500 (because the four hours all ready per day was not enough for Bridget the kitty hog ... and yes if you know 500 you would know that she got that disease from ME the number one kitty hog of all time) and the name game and her new one .... lets play being journalists and making up news stories or writing essays.
I took my Peter Temple (fantastic Australian crime writer ... just won the best international crime novel award for 2007) books every where I went and even managed to go on ONE scary theme park ride ... much to every one's amazement. All I can say about the dreadful Pirate Ship is that my suffering was brief but very intense ........ and confirmed my life long belief that I do not enjoy or tolerate any motion apart from driving a car. I was very glad to get off and feel very glad that some times you do make the right decision about life time habits!!!I'm not just a scaredy cat!!!
To be honest I did have a few in the middle of the night scary thoughts about what was going to happen to me and how long I would be around to not go on scary rides etc . but I think that's pretty normal . Despite all my attempts to be positive and take each day as it comes, and live in the present moment, and realise I have no control over the future and to focus on love, kindness and forgiveness and cancel negative thoughts etc etc etc..... I still am only human and have no answers.
Welcome to the human race. I know I am not alone.
I will always look back on that time away with a great feeling and thank my Mercy friends for their kindness and love in sending us off in such great style!!!
Since being back I have seen my doctor the lovely Peter Grant and he was very kind and spent a lot of time with me and Greg answering my rambling, repetitive questions and I felt like he had all the time in the world and I was his only patient in the world ..... He was very encouraging and we both walked out feeling very lucky and relieved. I may have a little hot spot on my hip which may need some radiation but Greg and I are going mattress shopping today just to make sure its not a joint problem So keep your fingers crossed.
I learnt a long time ago from a long time survivor of ovarian cancer that the secret is "to keep on keeping on" and I'm starting to understand what she meant.
In the meantime I have found a delightful little Austrian psychiatrist who spends hours and hours with me and bulk bills!!! and we are working on spontaneous healing (the mind can make you sick the mind can make you well.....) Apart from any thing else he is a really nice, intelligent man and I enjoy listening to his words of wisdom and wealth of knowledge. Greg and I have also been listening and reading Eckart Tolle (The Power of Now) which has been great. Aided and abetted by a good bloood thirsty crime novel ... also very therapeutic.
Any way thanks for all your love and support ... I am off to my friend Leanne's beach house for the second week of the school holidays (thanks Leanne!!!) and I am looking forward to more walks on the beach and the sound of kids laughing as they play chasey and hidey and putting my feet up with a good book and a couple of good friends (thanks Jenny and Anna!!)
Life is good.
Love
Pauline
xxx
Thursday, 16 August 2007
Hello ....
Hi there everyone,
I am enjoying my post chemo days ..... and getting back to feeling better each day .
It has been a wonderful but sometimes tricky transition because once you finish chemo whilst the body feels much better the brain can start playing tricks in terms of anxiety and worry......will it come back , will I be OK, how much time do I have, what about my kids ????etc etc .....I am sure you can imagine the general theme.
So I have been off to a 3 day meditation retreat and had a wonderful session with a doctor that specialises in this kind of thing. Basically the advise is ... face your emotions such as fear, grief , anger and just acknowledge its OK to feel that way .... sit with it through meditation and allow myself to feel these emotions without being critical or trying to control them. So far this advise has been fantastic and working well.
The other important advise which I think is very true, although once again not always easy to adopt, is that the timing of all our deaths are unknown .... No one really knows how long they will live because it is out of our control.
So for a confirmed control freak like myself it is actually liberating to leave that to the Lord/ Higher Being/ Unconditional Love/ Nature/ you can fill in the blanks .... and accept that there are many many people who shouldn't be alive today who are and vice versa many people who should have lived who are gone ... What doyou think???I'd be interested in your thoughts.
I am enjoying spending time with the kids and Greg is enjoying my improved cooking .......given that I have all day to think of something to cook. No more excuses. I even ironed a couple of his shirts the other day for the fist time in about 25 years!!! Oh dear I have turned into the little house wife after all this time!! To tell you the truth I love it ....
We are all off on our wonderful Queensland holiday in about 2 weeks and Danny is all ready counting down the "school days" left till we go.
Its pretty exciting and I can't wait.
SO I am in good spirits and enjoying life .........especially walking my little doggies through the parkland's and gradually catching up with friends.
Love to you all
Pauline
I am enjoying my post chemo days ..... and getting back to feeling better each day .
It has been a wonderful but sometimes tricky transition because once you finish chemo whilst the body feels much better the brain can start playing tricks in terms of anxiety and worry......will it come back , will I be OK, how much time do I have, what about my kids ????etc etc .....I am sure you can imagine the general theme.
So I have been off to a 3 day meditation retreat and had a wonderful session with a doctor that specialises in this kind of thing. Basically the advise is ... face your emotions such as fear, grief , anger and just acknowledge its OK to feel that way .... sit with it through meditation and allow myself to feel these emotions without being critical or trying to control them. So far this advise has been fantastic and working well.
The other important advise which I think is very true, although once again not always easy to adopt, is that the timing of all our deaths are unknown .... No one really knows how long they will live because it is out of our control.
So for a confirmed control freak like myself it is actually liberating to leave that to the Lord/ Higher Being/ Unconditional Love/ Nature/ you can fill in the blanks .... and accept that there are many many people who shouldn't be alive today who are and vice versa many people who should have lived who are gone ... What doyou think???I'd be interested in your thoughts.
I am enjoying spending time with the kids and Greg is enjoying my improved cooking .......given that I have all day to think of something to cook. No more excuses. I even ironed a couple of his shirts the other day for the fist time in about 25 years!!! Oh dear I have turned into the little house wife after all this time!! To tell you the truth I love it ....
We are all off on our wonderful Queensland holiday in about 2 weeks and Danny is all ready counting down the "school days" left till we go.
Its pretty exciting and I can't wait.
SO I am in good spirits and enjoying life .........especially walking my little doggies through the parkland's and gradually catching up with friends.
Love to you all
Pauline
Sunday, 5 August 2007
Finished!!
Hello everyone,
I am so happy to be finished with chemo and to have my life back to normal again.
I practically skipped out of the day chemo unit last Friday and have had a beautiful week off without thinking about fronting up for another round.
the last 18 weeks have been very difficult for Greg and Bridget and Danny and of course yours truly but it is lovely to have finished and to have had the great support of all our family and friends.
So thank you everyone from the bottom of my heart.
I am off to a 3 day meditation retreat tomorrow at the Gawler foundation so as usual I leave with mixed feelings (should I go?What about the kids? How will they manage?) and will hopefully return inspired and more geared up for daily meditation.
I am still very tired but I think that is pretty normal and it will take awhile to get back to a normal sleeping pattern. I am well and truly back on the healthy diet and all the vitamins and minerals so I hope they are doing some good. Haven't even looked at a licorice strap for over a week!!! I think I am cured of my chemo induced junk food phase!!
Treated myself to a front row seat at King Lear last week and loved every minute of it (well OK 3 hours was a wee bit long but I only nodded off for a minute in the endless sub plot bits!!)
Looking forward to holidays in September....Mermaid Beach here we come.
Love to you all.
Pauline
I am so happy to be finished with chemo and to have my life back to normal again.
I practically skipped out of the day chemo unit last Friday and have had a beautiful week off without thinking about fronting up for another round.
the last 18 weeks have been very difficult for Greg and Bridget and Danny and of course yours truly but it is lovely to have finished and to have had the great support of all our family and friends.
So thank you everyone from the bottom of my heart.
I am off to a 3 day meditation retreat tomorrow at the Gawler foundation so as usual I leave with mixed feelings (should I go?What about the kids? How will they manage?) and will hopefully return inspired and more geared up for daily meditation.
I am still very tired but I think that is pretty normal and it will take awhile to get back to a normal sleeping pattern. I am well and truly back on the healthy diet and all the vitamins and minerals so I hope they are doing some good. Haven't even looked at a licorice strap for over a week!!! I think I am cured of my chemo induced junk food phase!!
Treated myself to a front row seat at King Lear last week and loved every minute of it (well OK 3 hours was a wee bit long but I only nodded off for a minute in the endless sub plot bits!!)
Looking forward to holidays in September....Mermaid Beach here we come.
Love to you all.
Pauline
Thursday, 26 July 2007
One day to go
Hi everyone,
Do I sound excited??? I never look forward to chemo but in this case I feel like I want to "bring it on" now!!! I am so looking forward to getting healthy again and being able to get back to doing all the things I enjoy without the continued grind of fronting up for those heavy duty drugs and all the related anxiety about reactions and side effects and IV lines etc.
I have been enjoying myself this last fortnight and basking in the glow of almost being finished. I have demolished a few good blood curdling crime novels. Nothing like an escaped psychopath to keep my mind off the nausea (The Sleeping Doll by Jeoffrey Drever in case your interested).
I am always in a good mood when the Saints are winning (they slumped when I was sick and are now coming into good form like myself!!) I fell asleep listening to the game last Saturday and thought that we had lost by 4 points. I felt quite deflated and kept trying to get an update throughout the night ..... to no avail. I was very pleased to hear in the morning that it was a bad dream and we had won by 17 points!) All that wasted angst for nought.
My lovely neighbour Anna, and fellow dog walker, introduced me to a very secret path in the Darebin Parklands that leads to a lovely sheltered natural rocky area next to the creek and is a real sun trap on these winter days. It was meant to be on the proviso that I did not tell a soul. Sorry Anna! No body goes down there and you feel like you are all alone out in the bush with lots of sun and birds and the water and best of all no snakes because it winter. I took Danny and Bridget down there yesterday on their Curriculum free day and they loved it ... Danny was having a little Tom Sawyer moment by the rushing creek (we are reading the Adventures of Tom Sawyer at the moment and he's right into it !!! I think it makes him feel less naughty and rather superior as naughty Tom and Huck creep out of houses at midnight, go to cemeteries with dead cats and pull hair in church etc etc!!)
I also received a fabulous "present" from the Mercy 8 (Julie C. Julie T. Katrina, Jan, Chris, Catherine, Denise and Lisa ) who have given me and the family a 2 week holiday on Queensland, return air fare and enough cash to splash to ensure every theme park and restaurant on the Gold Coast is well frequented. I was the guest of honor at a wonderful dinner and heard all about their Movie night and Camber well market stall. Whilst they made it sound like they had a ball I know it was an enormous amount of work. So thank you once again. Mercy people are very special ( that includes ex Mercy!!)
We are going to have a ball and I have a picture of the beach that I look at in the kitchen when I'm cooking. They gave me a shoe box full of money and Danny's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he opened it. Needless to say the money was solemnly "counted" about a hundred times by Danny and I am pleased to say he resisted the urge to pinch a little along the way (see I told you he was better than Tom and Huck!!) He was very disappointed when I took it to the bank for safe keeping.
I have to go now and check if Miss Bridget is in bed. She was last seen "straightening " her hair by the heater in the bathroom because it was crinkly after being in plaits!! She thinks I am very mean because I wouldn't let her watch Neighbours tonight. We have a TV free policy on school nights. Then on Monday Bridget smiled beautifully and said "Excuse me mum do you think I could possibly watch Neighbours just this once please because there is going to be a wedding tonight ... " How could I resist? Then the next night. "Excuse me mum after the wedding there was a terrible car crash on the way home and we find out tonight if they are alive or dead..... and so it goes on and on and on!!I can remember HATING my mum for brief periods when she didn't let me watch whatever show I was addicted to at the time. The injustice of it all.
When I speak to you next time I will be in my next phase ..... living each day and remembering how lucky I am to be alive to enjoy it .
I thank all of you for your support and love during this time ... I have felt very connected and that has made it much easier to get through. My world is full of very kind people and I am very lucky.
Regards
Pauline
Do I sound excited??? I never look forward to chemo but in this case I feel like I want to "bring it on" now!!! I am so looking forward to getting healthy again and being able to get back to doing all the things I enjoy without the continued grind of fronting up for those heavy duty drugs and all the related anxiety about reactions and side effects and IV lines etc.
I have been enjoying myself this last fortnight and basking in the glow of almost being finished. I have demolished a few good blood curdling crime novels. Nothing like an escaped psychopath to keep my mind off the nausea (The Sleeping Doll by Jeoffrey Drever in case your interested).
I am always in a good mood when the Saints are winning (they slumped when I was sick and are now coming into good form like myself!!) I fell asleep listening to the game last Saturday and thought that we had lost by 4 points. I felt quite deflated and kept trying to get an update throughout the night ..... to no avail. I was very pleased to hear in the morning that it was a bad dream and we had won by 17 points!) All that wasted angst for nought.
My lovely neighbour Anna, and fellow dog walker, introduced me to a very secret path in the Darebin Parklands that leads to a lovely sheltered natural rocky area next to the creek and is a real sun trap on these winter days. It was meant to be on the proviso that I did not tell a soul. Sorry Anna! No body goes down there and you feel like you are all alone out in the bush with lots of sun and birds and the water and best of all no snakes because it winter. I took Danny and Bridget down there yesterday on their Curriculum free day and they loved it ... Danny was having a little Tom Sawyer moment by the rushing creek (we are reading the Adventures of Tom Sawyer at the moment and he's right into it !!! I think it makes him feel less naughty and rather superior as naughty Tom and Huck creep out of houses at midnight, go to cemeteries with dead cats and pull hair in church etc etc!!)
I also received a fabulous "present" from the Mercy 8 (Julie C. Julie T. Katrina, Jan, Chris, Catherine, Denise and Lisa ) who have given me and the family a 2 week holiday on Queensland, return air fare and enough cash to splash to ensure every theme park and restaurant on the Gold Coast is well frequented. I was the guest of honor at a wonderful dinner and heard all about their Movie night and Camber well market stall. Whilst they made it sound like they had a ball I know it was an enormous amount of work. So thank you once again. Mercy people are very special ( that includes ex Mercy!!)
We are going to have a ball and I have a picture of the beach that I look at in the kitchen when I'm cooking. They gave me a shoe box full of money and Danny's eyes nearly popped out of his head when he opened it. Needless to say the money was solemnly "counted" about a hundred times by Danny and I am pleased to say he resisted the urge to pinch a little along the way (see I told you he was better than Tom and Huck!!) He was very disappointed when I took it to the bank for safe keeping.
I have to go now and check if Miss Bridget is in bed. She was last seen "straightening " her hair by the heater in the bathroom because it was crinkly after being in plaits!! She thinks I am very mean because I wouldn't let her watch Neighbours tonight. We have a TV free policy on school nights. Then on Monday Bridget smiled beautifully and said "Excuse me mum do you think I could possibly watch Neighbours just this once please because there is going to be a wedding tonight ... " How could I resist? Then the next night. "Excuse me mum after the wedding there was a terrible car crash on the way home and we find out tonight if they are alive or dead..... and so it goes on and on and on!!I can remember HATING my mum for brief periods when she didn't let me watch whatever show I was addicted to at the time. The injustice of it all.
When I speak to you next time I will be in my next phase ..... living each day and remembering how lucky I am to be alive to enjoy it .
I thank all of you for your support and love during this time ... I have felt very connected and that has made it much easier to get through. My world is full of very kind people and I am very lucky.
Regards
Pauline
Friday, 20 July 2007
Monday, 16 July 2007
Home post in sight!!
Hi everyone,
In two weeks I will be chemo free ....as in no more chemo. Only two to go. Do I sound excited???? I am.
In some ways it has been much easier once I got onto the miracle drugs that stopped me vomiting .....but in other ways it has been harder because of the amount of chemo (double the doses).
Oh well it certainly has made me very appreciative of those wonderful things called the senses and how chemo affects them such as taste buds and oversensitivity to smell!! Soon I will be able to get back to good old fashioned healthy living and say goodbye to lollies, fat and salt. In some ways I will miss them!! Is there anything better than hot chips and licorice.????You don't have to answer that question!!
We are really looking forward to our holiday in Queensland in September. The kids are already talking about planes and how much school they will miss. This was the first school holidays when I think they would have been happy to have more time off. We broke up the last week with 2 nights in Castlemaine which was wonderful. Steam train ride to Maldon, walking around town and the Botanical gardens, plenty of old churches, a couple of counter teas at the pub and on the way back we climbed Hanging Rock (my legs are aching today .... so much for keeping fit. I feel like an old crocodile!!). Danny was like a little billy goat climbing up the rock and Bridget asked a thousand questions about the missing girls and what happened to them. She definately needs to read the book.
Our great friends Rosealie and Cathy stayed on Saturday night and as they are having no luck with Melbourne house prices were intrigued and seduced by the beautiful Castlemaine houses and prices. I told them they were only allowed to move if they have a granny flat for me out the back.
Greg and I imposed a computer and TV free weekend and the kids despite grave concerns actually had a ball and played Chess and hide and seek and lots of ball games ......I'm tempted to make it a permanent ban but I'm reasonably sure there would be a total mutiny.
Anyway I hope you are all well. I am catching up with my Mercy pals for dinner this week so am looking forward to that.
Bye for now.
Love
Pauline
In two weeks I will be chemo free ....as in no more chemo. Only two to go. Do I sound excited???? I am.
In some ways it has been much easier once I got onto the miracle drugs that stopped me vomiting .....but in other ways it has been harder because of the amount of chemo (double the doses).
Oh well it certainly has made me very appreciative of those wonderful things called the senses and how chemo affects them such as taste buds and oversensitivity to smell!! Soon I will be able to get back to good old fashioned healthy living and say goodbye to lollies, fat and salt. In some ways I will miss them!! Is there anything better than hot chips and licorice.????You don't have to answer that question!!
We are really looking forward to our holiday in Queensland in September. The kids are already talking about planes and how much school they will miss. This was the first school holidays when I think they would have been happy to have more time off. We broke up the last week with 2 nights in Castlemaine which was wonderful. Steam train ride to Maldon, walking around town and the Botanical gardens, plenty of old churches, a couple of counter teas at the pub and on the way back we climbed Hanging Rock (my legs are aching today .... so much for keeping fit. I feel like an old crocodile!!). Danny was like a little billy goat climbing up the rock and Bridget asked a thousand questions about the missing girls and what happened to them. She definately needs to read the book.
Our great friends Rosealie and Cathy stayed on Saturday night and as they are having no luck with Melbourne house prices were intrigued and seduced by the beautiful Castlemaine houses and prices. I told them they were only allowed to move if they have a granny flat for me out the back.
Greg and I imposed a computer and TV free weekend and the kids despite grave concerns actually had a ball and played Chess and hide and seek and lots of ball games ......I'm tempted to make it a permanent ban but I'm reasonably sure there would be a total mutiny.
Anyway I hope you are all well. I am catching up with my Mercy pals for dinner this week so am looking forward to that.
Bye for now.
Love
Pauline
Thursday, 5 July 2007
Hanging in ... holding up!!!
Hi everyone,
You can tell when I don't blog much that things are tough!!! I am so close to finishing chemo but feel like its soooooooo far away .... which is pretty silly but my poor old body has just about had enough. Not to mention my sensitive mind!!!
It was like this the first time as well. I had to psych myself up so much to get through the chemo that by the time it was nearly over I was mentally "over it". Oh well in 3 weeks I will be finished and ready to prepare for the next stage of living with cancer (whatever that means). One thing for certain is we will all be packing our bags for Queensland to have a lovely holiday courtesy of my generous Mercy and ex Mercy colleagues.
Then I'm going to think about doing the following:
Make a bird bath
Paint all the front bedrooms
Buy a loft bed for Danny and move him into Bridget's room
Move Bridget into Danny's old room
Write a best selling play
Write my memoirs
Book in for a week at the Gawler Foundation
Eat really healthy food and take lots of supplements especially fish oil
Swimming lessons?.......
Meditate every day again
Make lots of salads
Try not to poison the kids and don't give up when they say "we hate this food!!"
that's my list for now ...... not much focus on paid work!! Maybe my paid work days are over. What do you think???
Any other ideas always welcome.
On the home front every one is well. School holidays are fun and its nice just hanging out. Danny and Bridget are going on a country train trip with their friends and Auntie Rosie and her daughter Jessie tomorrow (Happy Birthday Jessie) . We have made a surprise birthday cake and I can safely predict that it will be well and truly eaten by the time they pull out of Spencer Street. There was much competition and general all out "brawling" over bowl and beater licking rights and icing arrangements. The awful thing is I can remember be just as bad if not worse!(Saint Rose of Moonee Ponds wasn't always exactly "nice" in fact she was very mean to me!!!)
Danny is going pretty well although he struggles with his relationship with his big sister who he adores and of course she "suffers" his devotion with disdain. He was just begging her for a kiss a little while ago and she was absolutely refusing as usual. Meanwhile his poor old mum has to practically beg for a cuddle because he is too busy!! We have restricted the use of the computer these holidays and they have both been withdrawing big time and trying to stretch their one hour out through all kinds of devious methods!! What ever happened to "go outside and play?".
Bridget has just had a fringe cut .... which is big news and looks way too gorgeous!!! Her face is so pretty. I was very disturbed to hear that "some " of the grade 6 kids were dating this year . So I hope the boys stay away from Bridget. Luckily she thinks boys (including Danny) are gross!!!
Greg is battling on and is also looking forward to a holiday in the sun. I'm sure he gets very weary and worries about the future ...... but luckily he keeps a smile pretty close to the surface and is fantastic with the kids. The improved Bomber form has been well and truly appreciated and I am as always outnumbered by Bomber maniacs. Danny insists on viewing the ladder at every opportunity and is quite unhappy if I haven't bought the Age every day to consult the Bomber ladder. He doesn't accept that the position won't change after Monday.
Well I had better go and get these kids into bed. Bridget and I watched "Dial M for Murder" today (I love Alfred Hitchcock and so does Bridget now that I have introduced her to the master. Rear Window is my favorite movie) and she is just settling back to watch "How to marry a millionaire" with Marilyn Munroe!!! Danny still has the attention span of a two year old but he was very impressed with the Choir of Hard Knocks!!!
Love to you all. Chemo tomorrow then one week off then 2 weeks on then FINITO!!!!
Pauline
xxxxx
You can tell when I don't blog much that things are tough!!! I am so close to finishing chemo but feel like its soooooooo far away .... which is pretty silly but my poor old body has just about had enough. Not to mention my sensitive mind!!!
It was like this the first time as well. I had to psych myself up so much to get through the chemo that by the time it was nearly over I was mentally "over it". Oh well in 3 weeks I will be finished and ready to prepare for the next stage of living with cancer (whatever that means). One thing for certain is we will all be packing our bags for Queensland to have a lovely holiday courtesy of my generous Mercy and ex Mercy colleagues.
Then I'm going to think about doing the following:
Make a bird bath
Paint all the front bedrooms
Buy a loft bed for Danny and move him into Bridget's room
Move Bridget into Danny's old room
Write a best selling play
Write my memoirs
Book in for a week at the Gawler Foundation
Eat really healthy food and take lots of supplements especially fish oil
Swimming lessons?.......
Meditate every day again
Make lots of salads
Try not to poison the kids and don't give up when they say "we hate this food!!"
that's my list for now ...... not much focus on paid work!! Maybe my paid work days are over. What do you think???
Any other ideas always welcome.
On the home front every one is well. School holidays are fun and its nice just hanging out. Danny and Bridget are going on a country train trip with their friends and Auntie Rosie and her daughter Jessie tomorrow (Happy Birthday Jessie) . We have made a surprise birthday cake and I can safely predict that it will be well and truly eaten by the time they pull out of Spencer Street. There was much competition and general all out "brawling" over bowl and beater licking rights and icing arrangements. The awful thing is I can remember be just as bad if not worse!(Saint Rose of Moonee Ponds wasn't always exactly "nice" in fact she was very mean to me!!!)
Danny is going pretty well although he struggles with his relationship with his big sister who he adores and of course she "suffers" his devotion with disdain. He was just begging her for a kiss a little while ago and she was absolutely refusing as usual. Meanwhile his poor old mum has to practically beg for a cuddle because he is too busy!! We have restricted the use of the computer these holidays and they have both been withdrawing big time and trying to stretch their one hour out through all kinds of devious methods!! What ever happened to "go outside and play?".
Bridget has just had a fringe cut .... which is big news and looks way too gorgeous!!! Her face is so pretty. I was very disturbed to hear that "some " of the grade 6 kids were dating this year . So I hope the boys stay away from Bridget. Luckily she thinks boys (including Danny) are gross!!!
Greg is battling on and is also looking forward to a holiday in the sun. I'm sure he gets very weary and worries about the future ...... but luckily he keeps a smile pretty close to the surface and is fantastic with the kids. The improved Bomber form has been well and truly appreciated and I am as always outnumbered by Bomber maniacs. Danny insists on viewing the ladder at every opportunity and is quite unhappy if I haven't bought the Age every day to consult the Bomber ladder. He doesn't accept that the position won't change after Monday.
Well I had better go and get these kids into bed. Bridget and I watched "Dial M for Murder" today (I love Alfred Hitchcock and so does Bridget now that I have introduced her to the master. Rear Window is my favorite movie) and she is just settling back to watch "How to marry a millionaire" with Marilyn Munroe!!! Danny still has the attention span of a two year old but he was very impressed with the Choir of Hard Knocks!!!
Love to you all. Chemo tomorrow then one week off then 2 weeks on then FINITO!!!!
Pauline
xxxxx
Sunday, 24 June 2007
feeling good ......4 more doses then NO MORE!!!
Hi everyone,
I have been neglecting my blog because I've been having too much fun and enjoying almost every minute of my week off.
Back to chemo next friday then its the next Friday then a week off then 2 more Fridays and then FINITO!!!!!! Roll on chemo free forevers and a holiday in Queensland!! the last four doses are going to be the hardest psychologically so I need to stay focused!!! I feel like saying NO MORE.
I have been feeling very well apart from a day of gut wrenching abdo pain caused by the side effects of my new anti nausea drugs (the ones I've been raving about!!! Oh well. I survived but it was a bit grim at the time.) I'll just have to be even more careful next time.
I have been cooking, walking, catching up with friends, reading books, watching the West Wing and generally enjoying every day. My kids start holidays next Friday and unfortunately this coincides with my next 2 chemo's. I'm sure they will still enjoy having a break from school and being able to chill out for awhile even if mum is not quite up to racing around.
I hope you are all surviving winter and having a nice time. I'd love to get some feedback on ideas for what you think I should do with myself when my treatment finishes.
So farI am thinking:
Write my life story for my kids
just write something and see what it turns out to be
Make a bird bath out of pottery
Join a drama group
find a life purpose (if anyone has one please let me know what it is!! Maybe I could pinch it!)
Any ideas most appreciated.
Off to lunch...... catch up soon.
Love
Pauline
xxxxx
I have been neglecting my blog because I've been having too much fun and enjoying almost every minute of my week off.
Back to chemo next friday then its the next Friday then a week off then 2 more Fridays and then FINITO!!!!!! Roll on chemo free forevers and a holiday in Queensland!! the last four doses are going to be the hardest psychologically so I need to stay focused!!! I feel like saying NO MORE.
I have been feeling very well apart from a day of gut wrenching abdo pain caused by the side effects of my new anti nausea drugs (the ones I've been raving about!!! Oh well. I survived but it was a bit grim at the time.) I'll just have to be even more careful next time.
I have been cooking, walking, catching up with friends, reading books, watching the West Wing and generally enjoying every day. My kids start holidays next Friday and unfortunately this coincides with my next 2 chemo's. I'm sure they will still enjoy having a break from school and being able to chill out for awhile even if mum is not quite up to racing around.
I hope you are all surviving winter and having a nice time. I'd love to get some feedback on ideas for what you think I should do with myself when my treatment finishes.
So farI am thinking:
Write my life story for my kids
just write something and see what it turns out to be
Make a bird bath out of pottery
Join a drama group
find a life purpose (if anyone has one please let me know what it is!! Maybe I could pinch it!)
Any ideas most appreciated.
Off to lunch...... catch up soon.
Love
Pauline
xxxxx
Monday, 11 June 2007
Quick update
Hello everyone,
Survived my 4 Th chemo ..... much much better this time thanks to a new drug ......... no vomiting at all!!! I wonder where that has been hiding all my life. Still nausea but much more manageable.
Had hot chips one night and curry the next so it really is a miracle drug!!!
Makes the next few chemo's much more approachable.
My kids have been having a beautiful long weekend at Koroit and Port Fairy attending my gorgeous Uncle Jimmy Scott's 80th birthday afternoon tea party. By all accounts it has been a lovely experience. Its nice to see Bridget and Danny meeting cousins and relatives at a celebration other than a wedding or a funeral. Not that I've got anything against weddings or funerals!
I'm busy day dreaming about our holiday and have managed to watch about 10 episodes of the West Wing this weekend without Bridget or Danny around and Greg happily pottering around and looking after my every wish!!. Nothing like taking your mind off the nausea and the fact that St Kilda have also relapsed!!! Big time. Its looks like we're both back at the drawing board but at least they get draft picks next year if they continue to LOSE all the time!!!
Oh well I get a fantastic holiday with my family and a really enormous reminder/ wakeup call about the importance of enjoying today!!!
Love to you all.
Thanks for your love and support.
Pauline
xxx
Survived my 4 Th chemo ..... much much better this time thanks to a new drug ......... no vomiting at all!!! I wonder where that has been hiding all my life. Still nausea but much more manageable.
Had hot chips one night and curry the next so it really is a miracle drug!!!
Makes the next few chemo's much more approachable.
My kids have been having a beautiful long weekend at Koroit and Port Fairy attending my gorgeous Uncle Jimmy Scott's 80th birthday afternoon tea party. By all accounts it has been a lovely experience. Its nice to see Bridget and Danny meeting cousins and relatives at a celebration other than a wedding or a funeral. Not that I've got anything against weddings or funerals!
I'm busy day dreaming about our holiday and have managed to watch about 10 episodes of the West Wing this weekend without Bridget or Danny around and Greg happily pottering around and looking after my every wish!!. Nothing like taking your mind off the nausea and the fact that St Kilda have also relapsed!!! Big time. Its looks like we're both back at the drawing board but at least they get draft picks next year if they continue to LOSE all the time!!!
Oh well I get a fantastic holiday with my family and a really enormous reminder/ wakeup call about the importance of enjoying today!!!
Love to you all.
Thanks for your love and support.
Pauline
xxx
Wednesday, 6 June 2007
Good news
Hi everyone,
Just a quick update to let you know that my doctor feels the CAT scan has shown a "major response so far" which is great news.
Of course secretly I was hoping he would say "its all gone ... no more chemo needed" but alas that is not the case. So its back for the next half of my chemo cycles starting this Friday. He did say I will need the full 6 cycles which means 6 more doses ....... starting this Friday. He did say he was very pleased and that it was a very good response.
I'm sure by this Friday I'll have my head ready for the next onslaught but at this stage I just want to enjoy my last day of freedom tomorrow by walking the kids to school, walking the dogs, having a blood test which I forgot to do today and then escaping to the movies to see "History Boys", back for afternoon pick up, back for Danny's music lesson and then out for tea with the women of Kelvin Rd, (my street). I'm going to need a weekend in bed with my bucket to recover!!!
So good news but lots of work ahead ..... at least I'm heading very definitely in the right direction.
Regards
Pauline
Just a quick update to let you know that my doctor feels the CAT scan has shown a "major response so far" which is great news.
Of course secretly I was hoping he would say "its all gone ... no more chemo needed" but alas that is not the case. So its back for the next half of my chemo cycles starting this Friday. He did say I will need the full 6 cycles which means 6 more doses ....... starting this Friday. He did say he was very pleased and that it was a very good response.
I'm sure by this Friday I'll have my head ready for the next onslaught but at this stage I just want to enjoy my last day of freedom tomorrow by walking the kids to school, walking the dogs, having a blood test which I forgot to do today and then escaping to the movies to see "History Boys", back for afternoon pick up, back for Danny's music lesson and then out for tea with the women of Kelvin Rd, (my street). I'm going to need a weekend in bed with my bucket to recover!!!
So good news but lots of work ahead ..... at least I'm heading very definitely in the right direction.
Regards
Pauline
Saturday, 2 June 2007
Half way there!!!
Hi everyone,
I feel like I'm finally making progress .... hopefully I am now half way and looking at a home stretch or at least a dive into 3rd base ..... well maybe a crawl across the finish line but some how or other I know that finish post is getting nearer.
I have finished my 3rd cycle (misleadingly called 3rd because it was actually 6 doses ) and have just had my CAT scan to see how it is all going....... so keep those prayers, toes, fingers and positive vibes flowing this way please. I'll let you know when I know.
I have had a fantastic week off chemo ... my nausea lifted on Thursday and my taste buds even came back to life so I have been cooking up a storm in the kitchen . I don't know if its actually edible but I like it!!!. Just as well because no body else will even taste it. Danny had a complete melt down for not knowing he would HATE my home made Kai Si Ming (sounds weird but its just mince meat, cabbage, curry paste and chicken noodle soup ....... the Scott clan used to love it!!), and Bridget is at a sleep over but if she was home would have turned her nose up and complained of child abuse.
I had my very old friends Rosa and Hugh over for lunch on Thursday and surprised them with a full on roast and pudding. It was pretty hit and miss but they said they loved it. The best thing was having a chance to listen to my very wise 80 year old friend who has had a life of great joy but also lots of really tough times .....although you would never know it because she never moans and groans and was still working as a hands on nurse/ carer well into her 60's. She lost her father in the war and her mum died of cancer at 53.
We had a good talk about what it meant to lose a mum. What I took away from the conversation was that no matter how long we are on this planet ..... and none of us really know for sure...... my kids will always know that I love them as much as I possibly can and hopefully will never doubt that fact no matter how long I live or they live. Prior to getting cancer I didn't really pay much attention to this ....I just took it for granted. I don't any more.
Most of my grief and loss associated with having cancer is about the kids .....but as I go though this journey I realise that the old saying "kids are resilient" is actually true. The real grief is accepting that my children will be OK without me ....... whenever that time comes. Hopefully in a long time. That doesn't mean they won't miss me, and will be greatly affected but the gift I can give them is to be able to love themselves and others and to be able to live as the beautiful kids they are and the wonderful adults I know they will be. Greg and I are proud of Bridget and Danny and I hope they will be loving human beings always.
Having said that it doesn't mean that I don't intend to be around to see them grow up and graduate from primary school and go off to High School and be there for all the important milestones .... its just I know now that each day is a milestone and now is what really matters not getting hung up about things I can't control ....... so I had may as well get over the future and get on with today. I also know that its not always easy being positive but ultimately its the only way to get through the mirky waters of living with cancer.
Other highlights of this week have been .......sneaking off to a fantastic movie (thanks Julie and Julie for the recommendation) "As it is in Heaven"... if you ever get the chance to see it do yourself a favor!, walking all around Alphington parks with the doggies and last Sunday me and the kids saw an owl and what we think was a platypus!!! It was probably a water rat but we are sticking with the platypus story, I was able to go walking with my girlfriends at 7 am this morning for an hour up and down Ivanhoe hills and watched Danny play basketball. I've finished a gory crime novel and have nearly finished "Holy Cow" about travels in India (a great reminder about why I won't be visiting India in the near future!)
I've got a few more days before it all starts again .
I hope you are all well ... let me know how your going and thanks to everyone for all your love and support. If anyone wants a bowl of Kai Si Ming you know where to come.
Regards
Pauline
I feel like I'm finally making progress .... hopefully I am now half way and looking at a home stretch or at least a dive into 3rd base ..... well maybe a crawl across the finish line but some how or other I know that finish post is getting nearer.
I have finished my 3rd cycle (misleadingly called 3rd because it was actually 6 doses ) and have just had my CAT scan to see how it is all going....... so keep those prayers, toes, fingers and positive vibes flowing this way please. I'll let you know when I know.
I have had a fantastic week off chemo ... my nausea lifted on Thursday and my taste buds even came back to life so I have been cooking up a storm in the kitchen . I don't know if its actually edible but I like it!!!. Just as well because no body else will even taste it. Danny had a complete melt down for not knowing he would HATE my home made Kai Si Ming (sounds weird but its just mince meat, cabbage, curry paste and chicken noodle soup ....... the Scott clan used to love it!!), and Bridget is at a sleep over but if she was home would have turned her nose up and complained of child abuse.
I had my very old friends Rosa and Hugh over for lunch on Thursday and surprised them with a full on roast and pudding. It was pretty hit and miss but they said they loved it. The best thing was having a chance to listen to my very wise 80 year old friend who has had a life of great joy but also lots of really tough times .....although you would never know it because she never moans and groans and was still working as a hands on nurse/ carer well into her 60's. She lost her father in the war and her mum died of cancer at 53.
We had a good talk about what it meant to lose a mum. What I took away from the conversation was that no matter how long we are on this planet ..... and none of us really know for sure...... my kids will always know that I love them as much as I possibly can and hopefully will never doubt that fact no matter how long I live or they live. Prior to getting cancer I didn't really pay much attention to this ....I just took it for granted. I don't any more.
Most of my grief and loss associated with having cancer is about the kids .....but as I go though this journey I realise that the old saying "kids are resilient" is actually true. The real grief is accepting that my children will be OK without me ....... whenever that time comes. Hopefully in a long time. That doesn't mean they won't miss me, and will be greatly affected but the gift I can give them is to be able to love themselves and others and to be able to live as the beautiful kids they are and the wonderful adults I know they will be. Greg and I are proud of Bridget and Danny and I hope they will be loving human beings always.
Having said that it doesn't mean that I don't intend to be around to see them grow up and graduate from primary school and go off to High School and be there for all the important milestones .... its just I know now that each day is a milestone and now is what really matters not getting hung up about things I can't control ....... so I had may as well get over the future and get on with today. I also know that its not always easy being positive but ultimately its the only way to get through the mirky waters of living with cancer.
Other highlights of this week have been .......sneaking off to a fantastic movie (thanks Julie and Julie for the recommendation) "As it is in Heaven"... if you ever get the chance to see it do yourself a favor!, walking all around Alphington parks with the doggies and last Sunday me and the kids saw an owl and what we think was a platypus!!! It was probably a water rat but we are sticking with the platypus story, I was able to go walking with my girlfriends at 7 am this morning for an hour up and down Ivanhoe hills and watched Danny play basketball. I've finished a gory crime novel and have nearly finished "Holy Cow" about travels in India (a great reminder about why I won't be visiting India in the near future!)
I've got a few more days before it all starts again .
I hope you are all well ... let me know how your going and thanks to everyone for all your love and support. If anyone wants a bowl of Kai Si Ming you know where to come.
Regards
Pauline
Wednesday, 23 May 2007
Last Friday night.......
Last Friday night as I was resting in bed with my bucket and feeling absolutely revolting after a belly full of chemo (remember short term pain long term gain!!!) an event was unfolding organised by a group of my ex Mercy friends who had decided to send me and the family on a HOLIDAY when my treatment is over.
In short they organised an evening at the Balwyn cinema to send an unnamed person who needed a holiday on a holiday!. Not only did they sell 151 tickets!!! to all their family and friends and no doubt any innocent bystanders foolish enough to loiter too close to them but they organised this event in such a way that my privacy and self respect was well and truly respected and I did not feel like a charity.
My only embarrassment is that 8 friends could be bothered to find the time and energy to do such a nice thing for me and Greg and the kids and in such a thoughtful and sensitive way. Through out this whole experience I have been so well supported by my family, relatives, friends, neighbours and school community. I am very lucky and thank each and every one of you.
In particular I would like to say THANK YOU publicly (at least on my BLOG) to Julie Collette, Katrina O'Sullvan, Julie Tondello, Denise Patterson, Jan Rice, Catherine Flemming, Chris Watson and Lisa Wiggins. What a line up!
All of these woman have very busy and demanding lives and I know they would have found it very hard to find the time to organise this event. However I also know that they all have such a vibe and energy about them (not to mention the "gift of the gab") that when together they probably had a ball!!! Chris Watson has also "lent" me the use of her holiday house at Mermaid Beach on the Gold Coast in September and I am very grateful to her and can't wait. When I'm feeling really sick I imagine walking on the beach and can almost see the waves.
I asked my doctor last week if I was being over optimistic to think I might be ready to take a holiday by September and he said "not at all!!" So please keep all your fingers and toes crossed for my next CAT scan in two weeks.
As always I am very open to any new or exciting cures for cancer ..... just send them my way. I had a very interesting Body Psychotherapy session last week which involved "mat work" this time. Enough said. I'll leave it to yoru imagination. I felt a little bit like a demented Lady Macbeth ("out out foul cancer!" ) and wondered if I could perhaps create a new reality series for Chanel 10 exploring (OK maybe exposing) the complete range of alternative, natural therapies available. I could try them all out and see if they work. Its an interesting world out there.
On the home front the festival of Danny is finally over ....... I had totally over estimated the party time and found that we were all back from the pool with another 2 hours to kill and 14 8 year olds going mad!!!
With 10 minutes to go I started the count down and parents who arrived were greeted with a child, a lolly bag, a thanks for coming and the door!!!. They were all gone by 5 minutes past 6!!! Even Danny and Bridget had retreated to the TV room and were totally exhausted. Bridget managed to vomit everywhere at 1 am and Greg deserves a medal for being the best vomit cleaner in ALphington.
Rosealie and Cathy and Saint Rose of Moonee Ponds (my sister Rose) were in the thick of festivities and I am very grateful. Luckily Rose has already had her children and Rosealie and Cathy are not interested or I might have been responsible for them deciding to become "deliberately barren" like our friend Julia. 8 year olds can be scary!!
I am going to sign off now and hope to catch up again soon. Chemo again this Friday and then my week off!!! Yippee. I think this BLOG must have picked me up because I sound positively cheery considering how uncheery my stomach feels. Maybe its a another cure worht exploring in my new show .... the use of BLOGS and recovery from cancer by Pauline Scott!!!
Love
Pauline
In short they organised an evening at the Balwyn cinema to send an unnamed person who needed a holiday on a holiday!. Not only did they sell 151 tickets!!! to all their family and friends and no doubt any innocent bystanders foolish enough to loiter too close to them but they organised this event in such a way that my privacy and self respect was well and truly respected and I did not feel like a charity.
My only embarrassment is that 8 friends could be bothered to find the time and energy to do such a nice thing for me and Greg and the kids and in such a thoughtful and sensitive way. Through out this whole experience I have been so well supported by my family, relatives, friends, neighbours and school community. I am very lucky and thank each and every one of you.
In particular I would like to say THANK YOU publicly (at least on my BLOG) to Julie Collette, Katrina O'Sullvan, Julie Tondello, Denise Patterson, Jan Rice, Catherine Flemming, Chris Watson and Lisa Wiggins. What a line up!
All of these woman have very busy and demanding lives and I know they would have found it very hard to find the time to organise this event. However I also know that they all have such a vibe and energy about them (not to mention the "gift of the gab") that when together they probably had a ball!!! Chris Watson has also "lent" me the use of her holiday house at Mermaid Beach on the Gold Coast in September and I am very grateful to her and can't wait. When I'm feeling really sick I imagine walking on the beach and can almost see the waves.
I asked my doctor last week if I was being over optimistic to think I might be ready to take a holiday by September and he said "not at all!!" So please keep all your fingers and toes crossed for my next CAT scan in two weeks.
As always I am very open to any new or exciting cures for cancer ..... just send them my way. I had a very interesting Body Psychotherapy session last week which involved "mat work" this time. Enough said. I'll leave it to yoru imagination. I felt a little bit like a demented Lady Macbeth ("out out foul cancer!" ) and wondered if I could perhaps create a new reality series for Chanel 10 exploring (OK maybe exposing) the complete range of alternative, natural therapies available. I could try them all out and see if they work. Its an interesting world out there.
On the home front the festival of Danny is finally over ....... I had totally over estimated the party time and found that we were all back from the pool with another 2 hours to kill and 14 8 year olds going mad!!!
With 10 minutes to go I started the count down and parents who arrived were greeted with a child, a lolly bag, a thanks for coming and the door!!!. They were all gone by 5 minutes past 6!!! Even Danny and Bridget had retreated to the TV room and were totally exhausted. Bridget managed to vomit everywhere at 1 am and Greg deserves a medal for being the best vomit cleaner in ALphington.
Rosealie and Cathy and Saint Rose of Moonee Ponds (my sister Rose) were in the thick of festivities and I am very grateful. Luckily Rose has already had her children and Rosealie and Cathy are not interested or I might have been responsible for them deciding to become "deliberately barren" like our friend Julia. 8 year olds can be scary!!
I am going to sign off now and hope to catch up again soon. Chemo again this Friday and then my week off!!! Yippee. I think this BLOG must have picked me up because I sound positively cheery considering how uncheery my stomach feels. Maybe its a another cure worht exploring in my new show .... the use of BLOGS and recovery from cancer by Pauline Scott!!!
Love
Pauline
Friday, 18 May 2007
Third Cycle
Hi everyone. Pauline started her third cycle of chemo today. It all went pretty smoothly but she is feeling pretty sick now and has been resting in bed most of the afternoon. The doctors have been trying to tweak her anti nausea medication to find a combination that works better but so far it doesn't look like there has been much improvement. Bye for now. Greg.
Wednesday, 16 May 2007
Friday, 11 May 2007
Post visit good news
hello everyone,
You are very kind to read my blog and send me messages ... anyone who is technologically challenged remember I am the most incompetent IT person that ever walked to earth so please send me an email!!! It is really nice to know I am not alone and that so many of my friends are sending me good vibrations.
I had a good visit to Peter Grant today. Greg came along for moral support which was nice because I always manage to get myself a little wound up. Apart from being such a lovely man who apologises all the time for the chemo drugs making me nauseated and asks permission to examine me and apologises if he needs to squeeze or push or whatever ....... he also said that I had made good progress and that it was very promising. Peter felt that there had been a 50 % reduction in the tumor he could feel !!!! So that special cocktail or chemo, Body Psycho therapy, Twisties and Licorice must have been doing me good.
The plan is of course MORE chemo over the next 2 weeks and then a repeat CAT scan to see how its all going and then probably 2 or 3 more cycles (which is really 4 to 6 because I have one of the drugs twice) and after that I plan to live happily ever after for as long as I can.
I prefer not to get too excited because I have a long way to go but I feel fortunate that at least at this stage I am heading back to health and hopefully remission. I am going to enjoy our family holiday SOOO much when I finally get to stop!!! I just hope my stomach can manage a few more months of feeling like crap. What's that old saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!!"
I am driving Danny Boy to basketball tomorrow morning and then we are going shopping for lollies and ice cream for his birthday party this Sunday. So whilst sensible mothers are having yum cha's or special cooked lunches I am genuinely looking forward to the pitter patter (stomping) of a house full of 8 year old boys as they kick back and have some fun. Bridget is bringing a girlfriend and is doing her best to be enthusiastic but I know she is always secretly overjoyed when hers is the next birthday and Danny has to wait another 12 months and vice versa.
I have been enjoying my dog walks on these beautiful Autumn days and the last episodes of the West Wing I watched were just fantastic. The kids and my lovely neighbour Kelli arrived home from school today to find me crying over one particularly poignant episode when the President was burying a homeless war veteran and I had to qickly reassure them that I had positive news from the doctor and that there is nothing I enjoy better than a good cry in front of the telly. OK I probably enjoy a good Saints victory marginally more!!
I hope you all have a great weekend and Happy Mother's Day to you or your mother. My beautiful mum died when I was 34 but I always remember her and know that she lives on in me, and my sister Rose (Saint Rose of Moonee Ponds) and my darling Bridget.
Love
Pauline
xxxxx
You are very kind to read my blog and send me messages ... anyone who is technologically challenged remember I am the most incompetent IT person that ever walked to earth so please send me an email!!! It is really nice to know I am not alone and that so many of my friends are sending me good vibrations.
I had a good visit to Peter Grant today. Greg came along for moral support which was nice because I always manage to get myself a little wound up. Apart from being such a lovely man who apologises all the time for the chemo drugs making me nauseated and asks permission to examine me and apologises if he needs to squeeze or push or whatever ....... he also said that I had made good progress and that it was very promising. Peter felt that there had been a 50 % reduction in the tumor he could feel !!!! So that special cocktail or chemo, Body Psycho therapy, Twisties and Licorice must have been doing me good.
The plan is of course MORE chemo over the next 2 weeks and then a repeat CAT scan to see how its all going and then probably 2 or 3 more cycles (which is really 4 to 6 because I have one of the drugs twice) and after that I plan to live happily ever after for as long as I can.
I prefer not to get too excited because I have a long way to go but I feel fortunate that at least at this stage I am heading back to health and hopefully remission. I am going to enjoy our family holiday SOOO much when I finally get to stop!!! I just hope my stomach can manage a few more months of feeling like crap. What's that old saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!!"
I am driving Danny Boy to basketball tomorrow morning and then we are going shopping for lollies and ice cream for his birthday party this Sunday. So whilst sensible mothers are having yum cha's or special cooked lunches I am genuinely looking forward to the pitter patter (stomping) of a house full of 8 year old boys as they kick back and have some fun. Bridget is bringing a girlfriend and is doing her best to be enthusiastic but I know she is always secretly overjoyed when hers is the next birthday and Danny has to wait another 12 months and vice versa.
I have been enjoying my dog walks on these beautiful Autumn days and the last episodes of the West Wing I watched were just fantastic. The kids and my lovely neighbour Kelli arrived home from school today to find me crying over one particularly poignant episode when the President was burying a homeless war veteran and I had to qickly reassure them that I had positive news from the doctor and that there is nothing I enjoy better than a good cry in front of the telly. OK I probably enjoy a good Saints victory marginally more!!
I hope you all have a great weekend and Happy Mother's Day to you or your mother. My beautiful mum died when I was 34 but I always remember her and know that she lives on in me, and my sister Rose (Saint Rose of Moonee Ponds) and my darling Bridget.
Love
Pauline
xxxxx
Sunday, 6 May 2007
chemo free week coming up ... yippee
Hi there,
Well I've made it through another chemo cycle and the good news is it was not quite as bad as the last time.
I am seeing my gynae oncologist next Friday and he is going to examine me from head to foot and review the treatment plan .... so that's good. So just send a few prayers or positive vibes that I have responded well. I guess that will determine if surgery is a good option or continue with more chemo. I feel worried but believe that I will respond well and that each step is a path back to wellness and recovery. It feels a bit overwhelming unless I adopt the old AA adage of "one day at a time"
I remember meeting an older woman a few years ago when I was first having chemo and she had lived and at times "battled" ovarian cancer for over 12 years and I asked her what her secret was and she said "You just keep on keeping on". Pretty good advise really. Just keep on going and never give up.
The team at the Mercy are very caring and they certainly seem to look after their patients very well.. It feels good being there even though I feel a bit embarrassed when I bump into people I used to work with .... I guess it gets easier each time and I try to put them at ease.
Danny had a great birthday although couldn't quite endure another bomber thrashing .. they arrived back from the footy "early"citing tiredness!!!! Also Danny had a late night visit to the toilet bowel to remove some excessive chocolate cake, lollies, macaroni cheese, pizza and goodness knows what else he had managed to "celebrate" with. I think that's pretty remarkable that for the first time in his life Danny actually managed to discetely and neatly vomit without the usual major sheet change and doona wash. Its nice having an 8 year old!!! He's out looking fr bugs with his new Bug Catcher but there proving elusive.
I am looking forward to a chemo free week with walks to school, walking of dogs, West Wing episodes and some quiet time to mediate and hang out plus an appointment with my Body Psychotherapist for my latest cancer cure!! Definately will help me on friday...... my cancer is gone I am free!!!!
I've had a few of my friends apologise for not replying via the blog .... don't be silly the email is great. Its great to hear from you however it comes!!
Love to you all .... enjoy this beautiful Sunday. I'm off to have a bath, walk the dogs and then probably collapse for the rest of the day.
Love
Pauline
xxxxx
Well I've made it through another chemo cycle and the good news is it was not quite as bad as the last time.
I am seeing my gynae oncologist next Friday and he is going to examine me from head to foot and review the treatment plan .... so that's good. So just send a few prayers or positive vibes that I have responded well. I guess that will determine if surgery is a good option or continue with more chemo. I feel worried but believe that I will respond well and that each step is a path back to wellness and recovery. It feels a bit overwhelming unless I adopt the old AA adage of "one day at a time"
I remember meeting an older woman a few years ago when I was first having chemo and she had lived and at times "battled" ovarian cancer for over 12 years and I asked her what her secret was and she said "You just keep on keeping on". Pretty good advise really. Just keep on going and never give up.
The team at the Mercy are very caring and they certainly seem to look after their patients very well.. It feels good being there even though I feel a bit embarrassed when I bump into people I used to work with .... I guess it gets easier each time and I try to put them at ease.
Danny had a great birthday although couldn't quite endure another bomber thrashing .. they arrived back from the footy "early"citing tiredness!!!! Also Danny had a late night visit to the toilet bowel to remove some excessive chocolate cake, lollies, macaroni cheese, pizza and goodness knows what else he had managed to "celebrate" with. I think that's pretty remarkable that for the first time in his life Danny actually managed to discetely and neatly vomit without the usual major sheet change and doona wash. Its nice having an 8 year old!!! He's out looking fr bugs with his new Bug Catcher but there proving elusive.
I am looking forward to a chemo free week with walks to school, walking of dogs, West Wing episodes and some quiet time to mediate and hang out plus an appointment with my Body Psychotherapist for my latest cancer cure!! Definately will help me on friday...... my cancer is gone I am free!!!!
I've had a few of my friends apologise for not replying via the blog .... don't be silly the email is great. Its great to hear from you however it comes!!
Love to you all .... enjoy this beautiful Sunday. I'm off to have a bath, walk the dogs and then probably collapse for the rest of the day.
Love
Pauline
xxxxx
Wednesday, 2 May 2007
hello hello
Time goes fast when I'm in the middle of a treatment week and sure enough I'm up for the high jump again on Friday.
This time I have been unable to shake my nausea which is a real drag. Feels like really bad morning sickness ALL the time. I keep trying to find just the right thing to eat to get rid of it but it comes back again a bit like Lisa and Rex (my crazy doggies) when I try to get away from them for a minute.
Lisa and Rex have been even more neurotic than usual since I've been sick and disappear for weekends in bed instead of pounding the pavement with them on weekend mornings. I miss that time too.
One thing about feeling sick is you remember how nice it is to actually walk around feeling good. I look at people now and think "your so lucky". I want to remember this for when I'm better and I'm lying in bed making excuses for why I can't get out of bed to walk the dogs!!
Its Danny Boy's 8th birthday on Saturday and we are going to have to make the day as fun as possible considering his mum will be in bed with a bucket. However the following weekend he'll get to have a party with his school friends and make up for it I hope.
I've had to move into my winter head gear because my hair is thinning BIG time. I'm trying not to look in the mirror in case I look up and there's nothing there. Another thing to remember .. the joy of hair that doesn't fall out when you brush it.
Any way I've run out of Grays Anatomy having watched about 27 episodes!! so I am about to sit back and watch the complete boxed set of the West Wing (courtesy of my great friend David). Nothing like a bit of politics, power and sex to get the mind off the stomach.
Hope you are all well. Thank you to all my bloggers and emailers.
Love
Pauline
This time I have been unable to shake my nausea which is a real drag. Feels like really bad morning sickness ALL the time. I keep trying to find just the right thing to eat to get rid of it but it comes back again a bit like Lisa and Rex (my crazy doggies) when I try to get away from them for a minute.
Lisa and Rex have been even more neurotic than usual since I've been sick and disappear for weekends in bed instead of pounding the pavement with them on weekend mornings. I miss that time too.
One thing about feeling sick is you remember how nice it is to actually walk around feeling good. I look at people now and think "your so lucky". I want to remember this for when I'm better and I'm lying in bed making excuses for why I can't get out of bed to walk the dogs!!
Its Danny Boy's 8th birthday on Saturday and we are going to have to make the day as fun as possible considering his mum will be in bed with a bucket. However the following weekend he'll get to have a party with his school friends and make up for it I hope.
I've had to move into my winter head gear because my hair is thinning BIG time. I'm trying not to look in the mirror in case I look up and there's nothing there. Another thing to remember .. the joy of hair that doesn't fall out when you brush it.
Any way I've run out of Grays Anatomy having watched about 27 episodes!! so I am about to sit back and watch the complete boxed set of the West Wing (courtesy of my great friend David). Nothing like a bit of politics, power and sex to get the mind off the stomach.
Hope you are all well. Thank you to all my bloggers and emailers.
Love
Pauline
Thursday, 26 April 2007
Ready to go ... chemo come and get me!!
Hi everyone,
I guess I must be slightly demented or in total denial but I'm actually looking forward to getting another dose of the chemo under my belt. There's so much anticipation (OK then dread) that its actually a relief when its finally here and I can put another milestone on my path to recovery behind me.
I had the PIC line inserted today and I am very relieved to have it over and done with . The doctor who inserted it was one of those types who can't actually speak and work at the same time ..... so lots of LONG silences and then finally from me "SO ARE YOU IN? ANY PROBLEMS?"Needless to say I received a monosyllable grunt that he HAD been in but was in no longer and would just have to start again ..... the guide wires fault not his own!!! Thank god I am such a nice person (not!!) . I think a couple of words such as this is what I am doing and this is how it is going wouldn't be too hard for a trained radiologist. However it is in and hopefully tomorrow I can get my drugs quicker and without the nurses lining up to have a TRY!!
A couple of other reasons why I am in such a ridiculously good mood despite the fact that my darling Greg has managed to totally incapacitate himself running to catch the train to see the Bombers play at the MCG yesterday resulting in a seriously as in non weight bearing sprained ankle is the following:
I have become addicted to Grey's Anatomy and have about 100 episodes to go. I was watching today at the Austin to see which doctors were having sex with each other or the nurses but for some strange reason I didn't pick up any UST (that's unresolved sexual tension if your not up on the Grey's Anatomy total plot plus sub plot)
I have been to a Body Psychotherapist the wonderful George in Elwood and I can add this to my latest list of cancer cures ... lets see David's chicken soup now Body Psycho therapy!! I wonder if I should publish? I have never felt so totally relaxed (I guess I was hypnotised ) and I had a wonderful vision of an endless stream of black balloons leaving my body with all my negative emotions and past hurts, disappointments, resentments and all that sort of stuff. It was great!!
Can't think of anything else apart from all of you .... my great friends and family who have made me feel so loved and special . Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Love from
Pauline
xxxxx
I guess I must be slightly demented or in total denial but I'm actually looking forward to getting another dose of the chemo under my belt. There's so much anticipation (OK then dread) that its actually a relief when its finally here and I can put another milestone on my path to recovery behind me.
I had the PIC line inserted today and I am very relieved to have it over and done with . The doctor who inserted it was one of those types who can't actually speak and work at the same time ..... so lots of LONG silences and then finally from me "SO ARE YOU IN? ANY PROBLEMS?"Needless to say I received a monosyllable grunt that he HAD been in but was in no longer and would just have to start again ..... the guide wires fault not his own!!! Thank god I am such a nice person (not!!) . I think a couple of words such as this is what I am doing and this is how it is going wouldn't be too hard for a trained radiologist. However it is in and hopefully tomorrow I can get my drugs quicker and without the nurses lining up to have a TRY!!
A couple of other reasons why I am in such a ridiculously good mood despite the fact that my darling Greg has managed to totally incapacitate himself running to catch the train to see the Bombers play at the MCG yesterday resulting in a seriously as in non weight bearing sprained ankle is the following:
I have become addicted to Grey's Anatomy and have about 100 episodes to go. I was watching today at the Austin to see which doctors were having sex with each other or the nurses but for some strange reason I didn't pick up any UST (that's unresolved sexual tension if your not up on the Grey's Anatomy total plot plus sub plot)
I have been to a Body Psychotherapist the wonderful George in Elwood and I can add this to my latest list of cancer cures ... lets see David's chicken soup now Body Psycho therapy!! I wonder if I should publish? I have never felt so totally relaxed (I guess I was hypnotised ) and I had a wonderful vision of an endless stream of black balloons leaving my body with all my negative emotions and past hurts, disappointments, resentments and all that sort of stuff. It was great!!
Can't think of anything else apart from all of you .... my great friends and family who have made me feel so loved and special . Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Love from
Pauline
xxxxx
Saturday, 21 April 2007
Its a wonderful chemo free week
Hi everyone,
Just wanted to say hello ..... I've had a great week due to the beautiful weather, absolutely no chemo, lots of Grey's Anatomy and the West Wing plus lots of great catch ups with good friends.
On the down side I could have happily left the Telstra dome at half time instead of having to sit next to my "Bomber brats" waving their little bomber flag in my face every time they goaled!! Oh such a good loser!!!! I think my sister might be right ......football is for dunk heads!!
I've had plenty of walks and lots of good food ..... and unfortunatelty lots of not so good food. Those hot salty potato chips are still tasting pretty good.
Chemo again next Friday and on Thursday I have to have a PIC line inserted which is a permanent (but temporary) line that stays in my arm until the chemo is over .....not exactly looking forward it but will save me the plight of missed veins and painful needles.
So wish me luck. Thanks very much for all your kindness and best wishes not to mention the food, the company, the soups, and books and prayers and positive vibes and bad jokes etc.etc.
Everyone is very well ... Bridget and Danny had a great day at the footy and are enjoying school. Greg is battling on beautifully and my free housekeeper starts on Monday ...... I'm very excited about that. Rex and Lisa haven't missed out on too many walks but if anyone wants some extra exercise next weekend I am sure to be having a date with my bed and bucket so feel free to borrow my dogs if you are inclined!!
Love and kisses
Pauline
Just wanted to say hello ..... I've had a great week due to the beautiful weather, absolutely no chemo, lots of Grey's Anatomy and the West Wing plus lots of great catch ups with good friends.
On the down side I could have happily left the Telstra dome at half time instead of having to sit next to my "Bomber brats" waving their little bomber flag in my face every time they goaled!! Oh such a good loser!!!! I think my sister might be right ......football is for dunk heads!!
I've had plenty of walks and lots of good food ..... and unfortunatelty lots of not so good food. Those hot salty potato chips are still tasting pretty good.
Chemo again next Friday and on Thursday I have to have a PIC line inserted which is a permanent (but temporary) line that stays in my arm until the chemo is over .....not exactly looking forward it but will save me the plight of missed veins and painful needles.
So wish me luck. Thanks very much for all your kindness and best wishes not to mention the food, the company, the soups, and books and prayers and positive vibes and bad jokes etc.etc.
Everyone is very well ... Bridget and Danny had a great day at the footy and are enjoying school. Greg is battling on beautifully and my free housekeeper starts on Monday ...... I'm very excited about that. Rex and Lisa haven't missed out on too many walks but if anyone wants some extra exercise next weekend I am sure to be having a date with my bed and bucket so feel free to borrow my dogs if you are inclined!!
Love and kisses
Pauline
Sunday, 15 April 2007
Lazarus has arisen
Hi everyone,
Thanks for your blog messages ..... you are very kind. I'm sort of feeling Blog pressure to get out of bed and make an update.!!Last time I just felt pressure to get up and walk my poor dogs. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Now I feel a bit like Carrie Bradshaw except I don't live in New York and that S thing is not high on my list of must do's!!
Since last time I've had my second chemo and felt very ill for 48hours and then a miracle the nausea and vomiting stopped and I ended up having fish and chips for tea. Mmm give me some more of that fat and salt!!!!
Its funny how everything comes down to food when your sick. Woke up feeling good and thought I would do the right thing ......muesli and soy milk for breakfast and its been down hill from there!!! Definitely need to listen to my stomach and it looks like toast and chips are pretty high on the pecking order of comfort food. Bridget purchased a delicious packet of plain potato chips that also hit the spot.
Bridget and Danny are not used to this mother who wants to eat crap food all the time. I suspect there both a little nervous .. what could happen next? Will I let them stay up all night, no school, endless computer games.???
Managed to walk the dogs and drove out to Panton Hills for lunch today with my two beautiful buddies Cathy and Roselaie. Arrived home to home made fairy cakes from Julie and home made soup. Thanks so much. Louise dropped in with goodies last night but would still be recovering from the magnificent sight of Pauline Scott still in PJ's, hair standing up like a cockie and looking pretty average. Oh well. Aunty Rosie is going to drop one day at work and take them as half days during the week to help me and the kids. greg is goin got start an extra day a week from Monday. David if your listening I need your suggested offerings .. who knows they could be the cure to cancer and I could just cancel the next chemo. Cured with David's special soup made from secret Jewish recipe.
Well its back to my other preoccupation apart from food and that is watching as many episodes of the West Wing I can squeeze in between Saint Kilda magnificently beating the poor old Bull Dogs. It certainly pepped me up seeing those magnificent boys putting on a good display and for once even I thought we would win when we were 50 points up with 5 minutes to go. Only a long suffering Saints fan would understand
Every one is well ...... kids are back at school tomorrow and I've got a week off with no chemo.Yippee. Sr Rosemary bless her heart (that is Sister as in nun not sister Rose) is trying to organise a free houseclean once a month. Apparently its a package from DHS so I'm very excited!
Love and thanks for all the messages.
Pauline
Thanks for your blog messages ..... you are very kind. I'm sort of feeling Blog pressure to get out of bed and make an update.!!Last time I just felt pressure to get up and walk my poor dogs. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? Now I feel a bit like Carrie Bradshaw except I don't live in New York and that S thing is not high on my list of must do's!!
Since last time I've had my second chemo and felt very ill for 48hours and then a miracle the nausea and vomiting stopped and I ended up having fish and chips for tea. Mmm give me some more of that fat and salt!!!!
Its funny how everything comes down to food when your sick. Woke up feeling good and thought I would do the right thing ......muesli and soy milk for breakfast and its been down hill from there!!! Definitely need to listen to my stomach and it looks like toast and chips are pretty high on the pecking order of comfort food. Bridget purchased a delicious packet of plain potato chips that also hit the spot.
Bridget and Danny are not used to this mother who wants to eat crap food all the time. I suspect there both a little nervous .. what could happen next? Will I let them stay up all night, no school, endless computer games.???
Managed to walk the dogs and drove out to Panton Hills for lunch today with my two beautiful buddies Cathy and Roselaie. Arrived home to home made fairy cakes from Julie and home made soup. Thanks so much. Louise dropped in with goodies last night but would still be recovering from the magnificent sight of Pauline Scott still in PJ's, hair standing up like a cockie and looking pretty average. Oh well. Aunty Rosie is going to drop one day at work and take them as half days during the week to help me and the kids. greg is goin got start an extra day a week from Monday. David if your listening I need your suggested offerings .. who knows they could be the cure to cancer and I could just cancel the next chemo. Cured with David's special soup made from secret Jewish recipe.
Well its back to my other preoccupation apart from food and that is watching as many episodes of the West Wing I can squeeze in between Saint Kilda magnificently beating the poor old Bull Dogs. It certainly pepped me up seeing those magnificent boys putting on a good display and for once even I thought we would win when we were 50 points up with 5 minutes to go. Only a long suffering Saints fan would understand
Every one is well ...... kids are back at school tomorrow and I've got a week off with no chemo.Yippee. Sr Rosemary bless her heart (that is Sister as in nun not sister Rose) is trying to organise a free houseclean once a month. Apparently its a package from DHS so I'm very excited!
Love and thanks for all the messages.
Pauline
Friday, 13 April 2007
Friday the 13th
Hi there. Chemo yesterday, and feeling pretty crook today. We were planning to go away for the weekend but Pauline is feeling pretty sick so we've decided to stay home. Now that Pauline has worked out how to make a post I'm sure she'll write again when she bounces back in a few days. Bye for now. GL
Wednesday, 11 April 2007
Chemo tomorrow
Hi there every body,
Thanks for your messages of support and yes I will say yes to any vegetable soup or salads!!! My taste buds have gone west unfortunately so everything tastes weird and I have found my usual "healthy" eating diet just doesn't work!How ironic ... now that I am sick again I can't tolerate juices or even green tea. I've been pinching tea bags as in Tetley's from my lovely neighbour and scavenging Easter eggs. Oh well I guess when your putting heaps of chemicals in your body it doesn't really matter what you eat. Plenty of time for being healthy once I get well again.
Just in case any one is asking or your wondering .... I am definitely going to get better again. Me and Greg and the kids are all ready planning our next holiday and its going to be big. Only thing is I'm not going any where without hair!! My hair as in not a wig!! .....and I get the final veto on the the final destination. Given that Danny's best friend just sent him a card from on top of the Eiffel Tower I've got a feeling Paris might be a front runner. Definitely need hair in Paris. its nice to day dream we will probably end up going to Phillip Island or Echuca.
Any way I'm off to the Mercy again tomorrow for my next dose. Wish me luck.
The only way to get through this chemo is to embrace it .......and believe that it is killing those rotten cancer cells. So bring it on!!!
It feels weird not knowing who I'm writing to so send me a hello so I know who is out there.
Love to you all.
Pauline
Thanks for your messages of support and yes I will say yes to any vegetable soup or salads!!! My taste buds have gone west unfortunately so everything tastes weird and I have found my usual "healthy" eating diet just doesn't work!How ironic ... now that I am sick again I can't tolerate juices or even green tea. I've been pinching tea bags as in Tetley's from my lovely neighbour and scavenging Easter eggs. Oh well I guess when your putting heaps of chemicals in your body it doesn't really matter what you eat. Plenty of time for being healthy once I get well again.
Just in case any one is asking or your wondering .... I am definitely going to get better again. Me and Greg and the kids are all ready planning our next holiday and its going to be big. Only thing is I'm not going any where without hair!! My hair as in not a wig!! .....and I get the final veto on the the final destination. Given that Danny's best friend just sent him a card from on top of the Eiffel Tower I've got a feeling Paris might be a front runner. Definitely need hair in Paris. its nice to day dream we will probably end up going to Phillip Island or Echuca.
Any way I'm off to the Mercy again tomorrow for my next dose. Wish me luck.
The only way to get through this chemo is to embrace it .......and believe that it is killing those rotten cancer cells. So bring it on!!!
It feels weird not knowing who I'm writing to so send me a hello so I know who is out there.
Love to you all.
Pauline
Saturday, 7 April 2007
Day Two
Hi everyone. Thank you for all of your messages of support. There are obviously a lot of people thinking of Pauline and us all at the moment. Please forgive us for not returning all of the calls, but Pauline just hasn't felt up to it yet and we've had a lot of calls. I'm sure in the days and weeks to come she will catch up with all of you. We thought this blog might help in some way to let friends and relatives know how Pauline is going so please feel free to forward the Blog address to anyone you think may want to know how she's going but doesn't want to ring or who hasn't heard from us. We don't want to make a big deal of the blog as it feels a bit impersonal to us as inexperienced bloggers, but if you think someone would like to visit it please feel free to let them know.
The kids spent last night with Aunty Rose and went to see Mr. Bean's Holiday and had a very good laugh. Pauline has been pretty flat today, probably more so that yesterday and hasn't felt like doing much more than dozing in bed. She's had a little but to drink but that's about it. I'm hoping that we might be able to walk up and down the street later and that she'll start to pick up a bit by tomorrow and maybe even feel like making a post.
Anyway. Thanks again. GL
The kids spent last night with Aunty Rose and went to see Mr. Bean's Holiday and had a very good laugh. Pauline has been pretty flat today, probably more so that yesterday and hasn't felt like doing much more than dozing in bed. She's had a little but to drink but that's about it. I'm hoping that we might be able to walk up and down the street later and that she'll start to pick up a bit by tomorrow and maybe even feel like making a post.
Anyway. Thanks again. GL
Friday, 6 April 2007
Day One
Well. One lot of chemo down and Pauline's feeling 'pretty average' but has had lots of anti nauseu stuff and a little bit to eat in bed. She's in bed reading and resting at the moment but wants to thank everyone for their kind thoughts and well wishes. Cheers. GL.
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